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Quotes to use to lighten up
heavy discussions
Also useful as tag lines on your e-mail
signature
From "Joseph M. Filakovsky"
- ON METAPHYSICS
- Deja Fu: The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before.
- ON DEEP THOUGHTS
- A day without sunshine is like night.
- ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES
- There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of Jefferson Airplane". If you buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back and demand a refund?
- ON HIGHER EDUCATION
- College is a fountain of knowledge... and the students are there to drink.
- ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS
- A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
- ON YOUTH
- Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk. -- Steven King, 3/8/90
- ON PROBLEM SOLVING
- When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. -- Abraham Maslow
- ON MATERIALISM
- He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.
- ON RELIGIOUS PRACTICES
- Photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic!
- ON INFINITY
- If you had everything, where would you keep it?
- ON ECONOMICS
- The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
- ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
- I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. -- English Professor, Ohio University
- ON REVISIONIST HISTORY
- What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?
- ON DATING
- When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.
- ON POETIC LOVE
- When you're swimmin' in the creek And an eel bites your cheek That's a moray! -- Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
- ON MODERNISM
- Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
- ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
- Character density: The number of very weird people in the office.
- ON EXTINCTION
- Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
- ON LITERATURE
- This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. -- Dorothy Parker
- ON HUMILITY
- To err is human, to moo bovine.
- ON EXPLANATION OF THE END
- ... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs. -- Robert Firth
- ON PROPHECY
- The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are too weak to refuse.
- ON EXCUSES
- I can't complain, but sometimes I still do. -- Joe Walsh
- ON NUMBERS
- Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for very large values of 2.
- ON WORLD POLITICS
- Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
- AND FINALLY,
- ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT
- There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
