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Economic and Political Theory 101
From "Joseph M. Filakovsky"
FEUDALISM
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts
them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take
care of all the cows.
The government gives you as much milk as you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts
them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared
for by ex-chicken farmers.
You have to take care of the chickens the government
took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as
much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
FASCISM
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you
to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of
them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but
the government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM
You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.
DICTATORSHIP
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.
PURE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell
you who gets the milk.
BUREAUCRACY
You have two cows. At first the government regulates
what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it
pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one,
milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it
requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing
cows.
PURE ANARCHY
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair
price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.
LIBERTARIAN: ANARCHO-CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to
take harmonica lessons.
